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Joke of the Day

"Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*"

"Why didn't the NSA agent cross the road? He was snowed in."

"Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk."

"MATH JOKE: The ladies call me an integral ...because I fill the area under their curves"

"My girlfriend just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren't drying I swear to god..."

"Today a three-year-old child who I've never met before told me to shut up, and I wasn't even talking."

"If you don't come to my funeral, then I won't go."

"how do you know when a computer geek likes you? he looks at your feet instead of his own..."

"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask."

"No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead."