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Joke of the Day

"Today a three-year-old child who I've never met before told me to shut up, and I wasn't even talking."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. And one of them was assaulted."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"what do you call a lazy kangaroo? a pouch potato"

"How do you spell ""nose"" is Spanish? nose"

"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."

"What does an elderly Mexican have? Senority"

"Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents"

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside."