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Joke of the Day

"Where do noobs live in Iceland? Rekt-javik"

"Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO"

"If I had a nickel for every time some didn't understand me I'd make more cents."

"Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol"

"Two fish are in a tank.. One turns to the other and asked ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"I am a staunch traditionalist. I believe that texts should only be sent from phones. Soon ppl will text from kitchen device. makes me sick"

"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."

"one time a friend asked me ""how are you still single?!"" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head"

"Yeah I pee in the shower, but not while I'm in it"

"What's the difference between autumn and fall? The twin towers didn't autumn"