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Joke of the Day

"one time a friend asked me ""how are you still single?!"" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head"

"The wife told her husband ""look at your neighbour everyday he kisses his wife before going to work, why don't you do the same ?"", he says "" I would, but would she accept ?"""

"The doctor said I have only a month to live so I shot him. the judge gave me 50 years"

"What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg? Irene."

"What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21? Down's in the dumps"

"I like my.... I like my women how I like my font ... 18 and **bold**"

"Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo."

"A rolling stone... somebody pushed it."

"What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander? (X-post from /r/pokemon) Squirtle"

"A man had his left arm and leg removed. He's all right now."