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Joke of the Day

"Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO"

"Why do girls wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"Waking up in the middle of the night to a 4.0 earthquake is kinda awesome until you realize it was not an earthquake & what's that smell?"

"Some random guy on the street turned me into a bottle of tequila which rather annoyed me. I hate when people Patronize me"

"There are 10 types if people in the world Those who understand binary and those who don't"

"Why do all the little boys in Crete have golden penis's? Because thats the only place that King Mino's touches them!"

"I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits."

"Women can fake orgasms... But men can fake love."

"Trump's pussy grabbing days are behind him... But now he has his finger on a different red button."

"What's the plural of ""Referendum""? Riots."