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Joke of the Day
"Why did Ray Bradbury use heated lube? It was a pleasure to burn."
Next Joke
"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"
"A car pool is an extravagant waste of water."
"Why is Dr. Frankenstein never lonely? He's good at making friends."
"What do you call a potato with no limbs? An amputater"
"What Metallica song does Captain America hate? Trapped Under Ice."
"Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory."
"ME: I think I have a get out of jail free card COP: this is a do 1 jail sentence get the next sentence 50% off & it's for our other location"
"[First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!"
"The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it."