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Joke of the Day

"The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it."

"Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!"

"[parole hearing] ""What will u do if released?"" ""Kill everyone on the jury."" ""What?"" ""Buy everyone jewellery."" ""Aw. Granted."""

"A guy gets hit on the head by a falling soda can. But he's allright. Guess he was lucky *puts on sunglasses* It was a soft drink #FFFC"

"Finding exactly what right women don't have in America is like transmuting iron to gold. You can't."

"You know what grinds a Germans gear? Nothing, they are too well engineered. Edit: Spelling"

"Dammit, this spermicide didn't work at all. My kids are still here and now they won't stop whining about their eyes burning"

"Feminism is a broad issue."

"What do you call a techno-themed grocery store? Gigi D'Agostino"

"I wish I grew up during the Great Depression That way every Sunday was soup or bowl Sunday"