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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a potato with no limbs? An amputater"

"According to the law it's not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start ? Well first I created the sun then the earth"

"[at my funeral] *casket falls onto the floor* Mum: that's the quickest I've ever seen him move Dad: lol owned"

"What fabric is Mario's overalls? Denim denim denim."

"How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?"

"I like my women exactly how I like my pet. I like both to be horse!"

"My mom asked where the remote was and my son told her it was up her ass. She high-fived him and then turned around and slapped me."

"What form of radiation bakes you cookies? A gramma ray"

"Cash or credit? Did you just assume my tender??"