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Joke of the Day

"My cat just wrote the Great American Novel. Let me read you a page, ""Meow meow meow meow meow meow."" Dunno, think it's a little pretentious."

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"A reporter interviewed a 103-year-old woman. ""And what is the best thing about being 103?"" the reporter asked. She simply replied, ""No peer pressure."""
"What do you call a sad Ent? Mourning wood."
"No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house... It's actually just a mynah problem."
"What does an electrician say while meditating? Ohm... Ohm..."
"New information has come into my possession that reveals a significant percentage of you are full of shit."
"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven."
"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race."
"I'm like a fat lady's flip-flop... ...under a lot of pressure"
"What's a clown's favorite restaurant? (mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment."
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