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Joke of the Day

"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven."

"I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony. I just imagined everyone with their clothes on."

"Where do birds invest their money ? In the stork market !"

"My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we're playing the lottery 3-5 times per week."

"What's the most useful material? Scratch. You can make anything from scratch."

"What Do You Call A Blank Piece Of Paper? WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"

"When playing tug of war with a 2yo, it's best to remember they're pulling really really hard and holy shit they travel fast when you let go"

"Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon but they left after a few minutes ? You see it had no atmosphere !"

"I always found the movie ""The Exorcist"" confusing... It made my head spin."

"The day we decided such footwear would be called ""flip-flops"" was not our most creative moment."