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Joke of the Day

"I submitted ten puns to a contest once hoping to win But no pun in ten did."

"Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April? Because April showers, bring May flowers!"

"""You don't have to press the buttons harder to go faster"" Said no gamer ever."

"Doctor Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises!"

"New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it. They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it..."

"I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment."

"My wallet is like an onion Every time I look at it, I cry"

"What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ? A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !"

"So a dad catches his son masturbating... A dad walks into his son's bedroom and finds him masturbating. ""Son! That is bad for you, it'll make you go blind"". ""Dad, i'm over here''."

"what do you call a French OP a baguette"