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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises!"

"I hate father in laws So I only date black girls"

"I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York."

"My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week."

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have sex with his wife? Because whenever She gets hot, he hits her with a shovel."

"What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict? One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"It's called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken."

"If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it might be a grebe. Know your waterfowl."

"I keep telling people my girlfriend is not retarded... But everyone keeps insisting I am fucking retarded! Just thought of it while taking a poopy! I will see myself out now."