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Joke of the Day

"Me: You can just keep that pen. Coworker: Sure? Me: Yeah. I noticed you don't wash your hands in the restroom. Cw.. Me: I told everyone."

"If life gives you lemons, you migth be lysdexic"

"People always say ""Wow, your baby looks so much like you,"" as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug."

"My friend said he froze himself and as a result his testicles were at -273.1 degrees Celcius... Absolute bollocks"

"""911 what's your emergency?"" - I've been catfished by a dozen men ""We're on our way"" - Gonna arrest them? ""Gonna shut off your internet"""

"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their booze and always black-out."

"You want to know the problem with cocaine? It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso"

"One-Liner: Jobs growth in the United States is now down to just hair and fingernails."

"What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea? He went home and drowned in his tea pee."