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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their booze and always black-out."

"I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952."

"I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !"

"Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself? He asked a kid to go across the street to get a pack of smokes, the kid said ""No!"", so he ran over himself."

"It's claimed Macaulay Culkin's health problems are linked to a difficult childhood. No sh1t. His parents forgot to take him on holiday 4 times"

"What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!"

"Finally saw ""The Price Is Right"" with the new host. Maybe it's the glasses, but Drew Barrymore looks really different."

"So a termite walks into a bar... And asks, hey, is the bartender?"

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"What kind of tumors do tough guys get? Heman-giomas"