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Joke of the Day

"""Can I buy you a drink?"" Sure! What's your name? ""Uhh. I don't know. I never get this far"" You don't know your name? *sweats* Pants are cool"

"When is booger not a booger? When it('s not)."

"Had to check IMDB to make sure there really aren't any more Shrek films in development. Now I can sleep."

"Why do you always see beggars at protests? They're always looking for some sort of change!"

"I'm currently on a 2 hour layover in St. Louis airport. I'm cold and Missourable."

"Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips."

"This one needs your full participation! Say it out loud. Say the word ""silk"" 3 times Now, what do cows drink?"

"Why don't they call the Batman film ""The White Knight"" instead of ""The Dark Knight""? Because no one would care that he died."

"I hate it when people ask me where I see myself in 5 years... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Your wife is knocking at the back door to come inside and your dog is barking at the front. Which one do you let in the house first? The dog, because when the dog gets in the house it stops bitching."