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Joke of the Day

"""It's a boy!"" ...he screamed, ""it's a boy!"". Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand."

"What's the difference between Nicole Simpson and Princess Dianna? Princess Di was killed ~ by a white man ~ in a black car."

"I was making breakfast, then ""She's a maniac"" came on the radio... Everything is a blur. Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?"

"Why did your sister jump out the window ? Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit"

"What did the German say to the abundance of old memes vielen dank"

"1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate ""only one piece of cake."""

"The higher pitched my ""hey!"" the greater the chance I don't remember who you are."

"My pup has now chewed up 4 welcome mats and I'm beginning to think she's more antisocial than I am."

"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."

"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"