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Joke of the Day

"1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate ""only one piece of cake."""

"Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter? There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste."

"Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine."

"I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet."

"What do women and parking spots have in common? All the good ones are already taken, and the available ones are either pay or handicapped."

"Turn a man down for sex, he gets over it. Turn a woman down? Oh. My. God."

"How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket"

"What's snoop dogg's favorite time of day? High Noon."

"A lorry load of wigs has been stolen from down town. Police are combing the area."

"I have a friend who is pregnant. Trouble is, she slept around so much that she has no idea who the mother is."