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Joke of the Day

"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"

"What does a preverted frog say? Rubbit."

"Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon."

"When I see a couple and the women's pregnant. I always walk up and YELL ""why don't you tell him who is really the father."" and walk away"

"How many ""Mean Girls"" jokes is too many? The limit does not exist"

"I wish i could Google anything. I'd type: ""where da fuck iz my phone?"" and it'd be like: ""in da fridge dumbass."""

"What do you call someone who speaks only one language? An American."

"How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch? ""Tea, Rex?"""

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge? *""I set* ***who*** *free?""*"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."