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Joke of the Day

"So... A three legged dog walks into a bar and says ""I'm looking for the man who shot my pa""."

"I had some stir-fry delivered. I don't really like liver."

"The key to a great tweet is attention to detale."

"What did the unused dough say to the baker? Why don't you knead me?"

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"I just read a bumper sticker that said, ""Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan."" Sent from iPhone."

"Everybody says Australians are rednecks learn already... **...it's actually from latin word Australis which means Southern...** *Oops*"

"I came home to find shit all over my rug. Owning a dog would really help me feel better right about now."

"I've decided not to have children The kids are devastated."

"You know those old movies with Jackie Chan where he is reluctant to fight in the beginning, but then he warms up starts swinging like there is no tomorrow?! ... I'm the same way with drinking."