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Joke of the Day

"I've decided not to have children The kids are devastated."

"So my math teacher asked what I did over Thanksgiving... (-1)/8"

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"How do I change the ring on my phone to an onion ring?"

"Did you hear that Sean Connery tried out speed-dating but he ended up making all his dates sick? He was told it was a shingles club."

"How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking ""Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"""

"[Updates Christian Mingle bio] ""Just like Moses, I pay attention to the bush first"" ""You have 999 new matches"""

"What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ? A teddy boar !"

"My eyes are puffy and watery. People at work are going to think I've been crying. That should squash the rumors that I'm a heartless bitch."

"I want to make a BDSM joke but I keep getting tied up on the punchline"