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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."

"why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here"

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore Because she's the real headmaster"

"Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"Barista: Did you hear Netflix is raising its price $2 a month? Me: Ridiculous! I won't pay it! B: here's your coffee. $12.32 M: thank you"

"Imagine a shark eating pizza. Imagine you were frog. Imagine a donkey wearing a skirt. Imagine someone telling you to imagine stupid things."

"I like Gila monsters because they're willing to admit they're monsters, unlike giraffes"

"If Christians want to stop gay sex... they should encourage gay marriage."

"1 in 3 homicides start with a passive aggressive note. But of course you are too busy to read it."

"Your mother is so ugly, that if she were the only girl in Texas... ...the Lone Ranger would be lonely for a loooooooooooooooong time"