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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."

"There is no snooze button on a dog that wants to go out for a piss."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews Hary got out of the chambers."

"Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don't be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don't show too much interest 5. Seek therapy"

"Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking ""Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"""

"Friend- ""God you eat so much. How do you do it?"" Me- ""It's easy, I just gain weight."""

"""Check out Zach Galifinapkins over here!"" - joke I have prepared if I ever see a bearded man holding a lot of napkins."

"What is Irish and sits on the porch? Patty O'Furniture"

"Hope you enjoy my new song, ""Part of This Song's Title Is in Parentheses (For No Reason)."""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it."