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Joke of the Day

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose, i will sit in the corner now."

"*Gets down on one knee* ""Can you drive us to dinner I have three DUI's"""

"Dolce and Gabbana are to be jailed for tax evasion. Looks like someone finally called the fashion police."

"I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11."

"What do you call a boat made of cat shit? a caturdamaran"

"Household chores How do you turn a dishwasher into a lawnmower? Send the bitch outside."

"What do you call a happy cow? Laughing stock. What do you call a grumpy cow? A Feminist"

"You didn't like it. I was going to tell you a joke about my time machine"

"I always wonder what the nurses reaction was like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand."

"""I think we should-"" Kiss under the moonlight? omg we finish each other's sentences! Hairdresser: was gonna say trim the sides a bit shorter"