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Joke of the Day

"I always wonder what the nurses reaction was like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand."

"me: ""4,000 for a beehive?"" salesman: ""sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each"" me: [checking my wallet] ""give me 3 bees"""

"A dyslexic guy... Walks into a bra."

"Just walked past a girl with a Banksy tattoo on her arm. She must be a really deep sleeper!"

"I can speak any language. I just don't understand what I'm saying in anything but english."

"""Endless shrimp"" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop."

"What do you call a muslim, jackie gleason impersonator? Muhammed muhammed muhammena."

"Blind man walks past a fishmongers ""hello ladies!"""

"I wouldn't bother making a joke about an infinite line No point."

"I have an odd friend who gets off to the dictionary. It's weird but he's come to terms with it."