193066

Joke of the Day

"Jim is a butcher. Has a sister named Delores. He stands 6ft tall and wears a 10 gallon hat. What does he weigh? Meat hes a butcher."

"I wonder be sad when Gabe Newell dies. He'll rise from the dead in three days."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!"

"GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- ""what's the deal with airline food?"" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL"

"Can electrocution get someone jail time? I'm not sure, but they'd definitely be charged"

"What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe? Vault Disney"

"What did the sea say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved."

"Why did the criminal hide in the roof? It was very Con-Ceiling."

"The first time I spent the night at my girlfriend's house, her father would not let us sleep together... ...which is a shame because he was very attractive."

"Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing."