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Joke of the Day

"Jim is a butcher. Has a sister named Delores. He stands 6ft tall and wears a 10 gallon hat. What does he weigh? Meat hes a butcher."

"It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work."

"FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious."

"stadium announcer: ""STADIUM!"""

"Arrhythmia, blocked arteries, leaky valves, ""Hey, I found you on Twitter"" and other things that will suddenly stop your heart."

"What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking....J.K . Rowling"

"What do you call a guy with eight dicks? A coctopus"

"Donald Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall After all, they have experience."

"LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back? STENOGRAPHER: ""I Did The Murder."" JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed"

"Here's a broom go sweep the floors... 'Here's a broom go sweep the floors.' 'But I have a PhD...' 'Oh, I'm sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done.'"