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Joke of the Day

"Anyone know any good optometry jokes? All the ones I know are cornea."

"Breakdown of time spent cleaning my office: 5% Cleaning 95% Studying long forgotten artifacts of my past"

"What do you call a baby deer's droppings? FawnDoo! Nailed it."

"Why are they called jokes? Because calling them republican presidential candidates would make me cry."

"Scientists have reversed Global Warming! Get rekt, Sun!"

"Listen, I'll play that funky music if you ask me in a nice, non-derogatory way."

"Why was the lion alone and disheartened? He lost his pride in a bet"

"I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing."

"[First Date] HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist? ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all! HER: ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women."

"What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? ""Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."""