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Joke of the Day

"What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? ""Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."""

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"How do you know when it is bedtime at a pedophile's house? When the big hand touches the little hand."
"I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute. Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs"
"Believe in yourself. Build a religion around yourself. Canonize your quotidian tasks. Build idols of yourself in your best outfits."
"What causes something to go up and then down? Viagra falls"
"I wish I were Adam. For if I cracked a joke, nobody would say, ""I've heard that before."""
"Shoes from a drug dealer I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze."
"Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point."
"What movie title best fits The Flash's sex life? The Fast and the Furious."