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Joke of the Day

"[First Date] HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist? ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all! HER: ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women."

"Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"Just been offered a 42 Plasma TV for 100. Only problem is the volume control is broken, I thought fuck it, at that price you can't turn it down."

"What did the man say to the fly? ""Hey.. you're looking fly"""

"What do you call a Greek guy walking down the stairs? Con-Descending"

"Just back from the market. TIL People also stop using deodorant or soap for Ramadan."

"I don't know why they invite me to an Easter egg hunt, then freak out when I turn up in camo gear with my rifle."

"So you hate Facebook? Thanks for sharing that with me on Facebook."

"What did the desert say to the rainforest when it kicked a ball over the fence. Looks like you're gonna have to climate."