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Joke of the Day

"*Paper beats rock* *Paper beats eggs* *Paper beats his girlfriend* *Paper beats his three year old*"

Next Joke
 
"I'm not an alcoholic. I'm soberphobic."
"Sometimes I'm playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over"
"I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes.... they performed unspeakable acts on me. ..!!"
"Why did the women's studies major go to college? To study a broad"
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish? Lightbulb."
"A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a gun... The man yells out ""WHOS BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE???"" A few moments later, a man in the back yells back ""YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS!""."
"It takes two who know how to tango to tango."
"Did you hear about the math teacher... ...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard? He really rose to the equation."
"DAD: My daughter ran away [hands him old photo] DETECTIVE: You have a recent photo? DAD: [shows him 9,674 selfies with the dog filter]"
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