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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the math teacher... ...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard? He really rose to the equation."

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"Why is it awful to be an egg? You only get laid once, it takes three minutes to get hard, and you come in a box with eleven others."
"it's a status....not your diary..."
"I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it"
"Superman can save the world but Clark Kent"
"Ever hear that one about a jackhammer? It's groundbreaking."
"Did u hear about the prostitute with no legs? She's selling it for half off."
"A girl in a car gets pulled over, Girl: I thought you don't give tickets to pretty women? Cop: that's right we don't. Now sign here."
"[family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK"
"What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad? Chin up pal."