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Joke of the Day

"I'm not an alcoholic. I'm soberphobic."

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"Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye."
"Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes? Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car"
"I dated an Optometrist, but just had to break up with her She was a great girl, but really annoying in bed. She kept on saying, ""So, do you like it better like this? Or like this?"""
"One day, you wake up and everyone has a number over their heads. The number is counting down by the second. Eventually, someone's number reaches zero, and.... They sneeze. Their number resets."
"Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree? Suh Dude"
"Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be"
"My jokes are like hot chicks Hard to get, and when you do they are not anywhere near as good as you thought they would be"
"Through jelqing, I managed to make my penis ...red... Cool... I have a red dick. Thanks, internet."
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."