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Joke of the Day

"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."

"(Calm down, this isn't a racist joke.) How do you find will smith in a snowstorm? (Not a racist joke!) You look for the fresh prints!"

"What is the only animal in the world that can't get hogh A fish"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"What do sailors eat for breakfast? Naval oranges"

"Ever see the same type of towel you own at a friend's house and be like motherfucker stole my towel but really you're just drunk at an Arbys"

"We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts"

"Why can't I pay pay your mom for sex with my credit card? Because there's a minimum charge of 5 dollars."

"Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him? Because he was pain in the neck!"

"Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads."