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Joke of the Day

"Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads."

"I was overcharged by a plumber! So, I've been secretly training a gorilla to roll barrels at people. Tomorrow, we're kidnapping his girl."

"What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert? San Diego ^^San-dee-eygo ^^^^sandee-eygo ^^^^^sandy-eggo ^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out"

"Trump and Hillary fall into an ocean. Who will be saved? America."

"How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission."

"Shout out to whoever scheduled Valentine's candy to show up just as we're all giving up on New Year resolutions."

"Political correctness gone mad. I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son. Apparently it's my ""daughter."""

"*Opening presents 1986: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow! 2016: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!"

"I like sex. My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a boy or abortion."

"Has anyone ever seen Matthew McConaughey and a statue made out of overcooked bacon in the same room together"