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Joke of the Day

"We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts"

"I'm quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil."

"I identify as a Skywalker I guess you could call me Anakin."

"I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend's family They really put the ""JESUS CHRIST!"" back in Christmas"

"Politicians should be limited to two terms... One in office and one in prison. [Credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2jxula/alabama_state_house_speaker_indicted_on/clg2hjl)"

"What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? ""That was a cloche call!"""

"I did a Marquez impression in the hood... ... I was the magical realest."

"Why do Egyptian warships have glass floors? So they can see their air force"

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Ruberto."

"They've just added no stockpiling paperclips' to the employee handbook like they knew what I was planning."