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Joke of the Day

"Why did the anorexic cow take great offense when the farmer wished him Merry Christmas? ...because he was a moo-slim."

"I'm drunk & I want a TV Special called ""Wizard Fight"" where David Copperfield, David Blaine and Cris Angel try to make each other disappear."

"When your telling a joke But you punch up the fuckline"

"I just used the messiest urinal... If you ever see the model ""Dyson Airblade"" just go use a regular toilet. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower."

"What does daenerys give to tyrion? A hand job"

"Might get a Gatorade logo tattoo to symbolize my contempt for thirst."

"How do you have a rave in Greece? Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling"

"Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated."

"What do you call a large pile of kittens? A meowntain."

"None of the women liked Richard William Soft He's Dick Willy Soft"