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Joke of the Day

"[Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit"

"Optimism and Pessimism Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glad is half empty. Journalist: The glass is a victim of discrimination by White Christian Conservatives."

"What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"Do you before read your tweets even sending them?"

"When I'm bored I like to call in sick to places I don't work for. I'm getting written up at Home Depot"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"Hell is nothing but a bunch of moms asking for help with their laptops."

"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."

"Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on. The more it hurts."

"Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke? Because they ror."