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Joke of the Day

"When I'm bored I like to call in sick to places I don't work for. I'm getting written up at Home Depot"

"What is the definition of disappointment? Running into wall with a boner and breaking your nose."

"That one day of fame on Facebook when it is your birthday."

"After his wedding, Chuck Norris sent ""You're Welcome"" cards to all of his guests."

"Why can't Ken get Barbie pregnant? He cums in another box"

"How is a pirate like a trumpet player? They both murder on the high C's."

"What do you call two chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

"""If I weigh 400 pounds and can lift 600 pounds, shouldn't I be able to fly by lifting the chair I'm sitting in?"""

"When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs? Only when they snap at something!"

"3 guys walk into a bar The 4th one ducks."