200844
Joke of the Day
"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."
Next Joke
"What do pirates of the 21st century wear? An iPadth."
"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."
"All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse."
"Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: ""Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"""
"What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector? One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at."
"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints"
"bakers trade recipes on a knead-to-know basis"
"Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket"
"ted cruz looks like he puts ketchup all over his fries instead dipping them"