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Joke of the Day

"Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*"

"Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old? They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!"

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"

"Whats a shitty nickname for a tree theif? The Log Pincher."

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer? He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them."

"Boss: Can you send the documents Me: I am sinking in the muck of a swamp of ancient pain Boss: Ok just don't forget to send the documents"

"If you ever see me in a restaurant, please approach my table and do your Drunk Uncle impression. Especially if I'm with family or a girl."

"What do you call a student that graduates bottom of their class in Med school? A doctor."

"What did the lipstick and the eye-shadow do after they got into a fight? Had makeup sex"