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Joke of the Day

"A Wife calls her son to see where him and his dad are He answers with moans in the backround, ""In my room?"" He says, the mom storms up there expecting porn, or sex. She got one of them right..."

"Rednecks What do you call a redneck virgin? A 10 year old girl who can run faster than her brother and father"

"Always borrow money from a Pessimist. He won't expect it back."

"How to get on the front page Not like this."

"My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying ""Hey, are you even listening?"""

"Me: My friend really likes you. Her: I'm a lesbian. Me: Ah ok... Her: ... Me: ... Her: ... Me: So... What part of Lesbia are you from?"

"The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote."

"Walked past the fridge today and heard some onions singing the Bee Gees... ...turns out it was just some Ch-ch-ch-chivvveesss talking."

"[stubs toe] ""GOD DAMMIT"" God: No problem, bro. [toe goes to Hell]"

"Hey people who say ""look at our new baby"", thanks for clarifying that because my initial reaction was to ask where you got the used baby"