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Joke of the Day

"I instantly feel horrible when I judge someone, so I stopped. Now I make rational conclusions based on insightful observations."

"What do cats read in the morning ? Mewspapers !"

"What do you call a fat psychic? a four chin teller."

"Where do midget terrorists live? Halfghanistan."

"What does an identity thief look like? A mirror."

"No Oscar Nominations For People of Color.... Jada Pinkett Smith complained there were no people of color nominated for this year's Oscar awards. Perhaps they've been black listed?"

"My boyfriend just texted me, ""We need to talk."" I think he's going to propose!"

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Long John Silvers."

"My youngest son gave me a dead leg yesterday. Now I'm wondering where he got it from."

"My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards."