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Joke of the Day

"I instantly feel horrible when I judge someone, so I stopped. Now I make rational conclusions based on insightful observations."

"GPS: leftleft againtake another leftur gonna want to take this leftstay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here"

"I am used but in good condition."

"How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family."

"What's the difference between hitler and a gay man. A 45 degree angle."

"Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes !"

"Why did the Rams give Michael Sam #96? Would #69 be too offensive?"

"What's the new French flag look like? A white cross emblazoned on a white background!"

"Being a parent is the opposite of the Jenny Craig diet. ""I gained 20lbs & all I did was eat small portions of my toddlers leftover dinner."""

"One in 3 Americans weighs as much as the other two combined"