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Joke of the Day

"No Oscar Nominations For People of Color.... Jada Pinkett Smith complained there were no people of color nominated for this year's Oscar awards. Perhaps they've been black listed?"

"He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you."

"""Lie flat on your backs class and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes"" said the gym teacher. ""Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet boy."" ""I'm freewheeling sir."""

"Happy New Year everyone....and may your worries this year last no longer than a Kardashian marriage ."

"I think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster."

"Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said ''So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses!"

"pplease remember to turn your location on so the buffoons on this web site can have an easier time finding you, for whatever horrible reason"

"What does an Australian chemist call is bro? Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong"

"What's better than a vase of roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida."