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Joke of the Day

"My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards."

"What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share."

"I masturbate about myself masturbating about myself masturbating... Inceptcestuous."

"My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder."

"Did you hear the joke about the guy who shined a light at his shadow? It starts off dark, but the ending is bright."

"How is a Muslim at Ramadan like Sonic the Hedgehog? They both gotta go fast."

"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."

"Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said ""Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!"""

"How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !"

"Robin Thicke can't even name a second Robin Thicke song"