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Joke of the Day

"I've only just realised that Saturday contains the word 'turd'. How marvelous."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I have never wanted to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Whats Hitlers least favourite pokemon? Pikajew!"

"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."

"There are three bears a black, a brown, and a white one. Which bear dissolves in water? The white bear, because it's polar"

"How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend? With a John Deere letter."

"How do you know if a black woman is pregnant? Stick a banana up her cooter, if it comes out half eaten, you've got a monkey on the way!"

"I'm fluent in Mandarin said the orange."

"My Dad couldn't pull out of my Mom... ...but at least he could pull out of my life."

"What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time? Getting all high and mighty"