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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I have never wanted to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Sex and oxygen are a lot a like It's really not that big of a deal unless you're not getting any."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. My wife won't let me have any."

"Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan I heard the girls are hella thirsty"

"A sheep, Don Trump and a snake all fall off a ledge Baa Dumb Tiss!"

"It turns out there IS a natural birth control that's 100% effective. You have to more than just careful with it... Fact is, you have to be totally anal."

"BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god"

"If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek"

"Your mom is so dumb. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer."

"""Said no one ever."" -Said everyone on Twitter."