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Joke of the Day

"Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes."

"What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal? A keeper"

"What is a dog's favorite thing about living in a house? Roofs."

"you know what they say about beetroot. you can beat an egg but you can't beet a root."

"How do you describe the facial features of a man who shaves with sculpting tools? Chiseled."

"A man walks into a bar and notices two things: 1. there's a line. 2. The daily special is a Cranberry & Vodka. So he gets into the punch-line."

"I call her Magnet... She's attractive from the back, but repulsive from the front."

"""OOOOOH an email!"" - me, every single fucking time I email myself"

"I've got a joke with no punchline.. I'm not joking!"

"I hate it when kids spell ""angel"" as ""angle"" They're just trying to be edgy."