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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when kids spell ""angel"" as ""angle"" They're just trying to be edgy."

"I held a solipsist party at my house yesterday Everyone was there."

"I have decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on... This one was written in Tokyo."

"Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion? I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed."

"[airport security] *Beep* ""step through again, but don't say Beep."" *Alarm* ""Once more sir, but if u speak, I'll shoot u."" {thinks} *bzzt*"

"What's that coffee drink with icecream? I used to know it, but... Affogato."

"What did the Trump supporting viticulturist say Monday morning? Time to make America Grapes Again."

"Why did Kanye West blow up the bakery? Because no one man should have all that flour."

"If you are Russian on your way to the bathroom and Russian when you get out, what are you in the bathroom? Puttin."

"To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes."