196676

Joke of the Day

"you know what they say about beetroot. you can beat an egg but you can't beet a root."

"Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta eta theta."

"Chuck Norris, the actor, film producer and screenwriter died in his house today at 76 years of age He is now feeling much better and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance"

"You literally misuse the word ""literally"" every time you say it. And I figuratively want to punch you in the face. Literally."

"Why do women talk so much? Because they have 4 lips."

"Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday. Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now."

"""Nurse, I need 10 cc's of fluid, a scalpel and 100+ retweets about this kid from a celebrity on Twitter. STAT!"" - 2013 doctor"

"What does the letter K have in common with my cousins They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together"

"Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase."

"God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces."