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Joke of the Day
"I call her Magnet... She's attractive from the back, but repulsive from the front."
Next Joke
"When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement"
"The human body is 98% water. So I'm not fat, Just well hydrated."
"Ever notice when you need to delete a phone app and you get the icons jiggling? They seem all panicky about who's getting cut from the team"
"Why did the blind man cross the road? Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)"
"[After losing a rap battle] ""How did he get a hold of my credit score?"""
"Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving? All the coats are on the bed!"
"Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016, Wham! there's one more."
"My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model."
"I heard Christians only count 1 through 9. I wonder what happens if they say 10?"