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Joke of the Day

"It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week... But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed"

"What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw? You don't call her."

"*two turtles strapping themselves to a sleeping cheetah* Just you wait, Carl! This is gonna be awesome!"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? Three, or four?"

"Ok, Surgeon General, alcohol is bad for pregnant women. The warning label might be more effective stating alcohol causes pregnant women."

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science Specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"the biggest joke of all time Trump"

"So bored at the airport, I just smiled at a baby to kill time."

"My friend asked what would get black walnut stains off of his driveway I told him to call a cheap motel. If anyone would know how to remove nut stains it would be them."

"a white girl drowned today when her anchor tattoo pulled her to the bottom, sadly her infinity tattoo didnt mean she'd live forever"