154244

Joke of the Day

"a white girl drowned today when her anchor tattoo pulled her to the bottom, sadly her infinity tattoo didnt mean she'd live forever"

"HR: You know why you're here? Me: So we can be alone? HR: Your new nickname is a problem. Me: We all have them. HR: Yes, but Sperminator?"

"Want to hear a joke about potassium? K. I was gonna tell a joke about sodium but then I was like, Na."

"I bought a metronome recently, I left it in my car as I stopped at the bank machine for a minute, came back and it was gone, someone stole it but was caught... ...now I hear the thief is doing 2/4"

"Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done."

"What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral? Don't stop, bereaving!"

"I met this really hot Geologist today. She had quite a Gneiss ass."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business."

"What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection? A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry."

"When should a mouse carry an umbrella ? When it's raining cats and dogs !"